Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Waiting and waiting!

I am currently in formation for the Permanent Diaconate. A while ago, I submitted my self-evaluation; my wife and I had an interview with the director of the formation program; and an interview with a deacon and his wife. Now comes the waiting for the Evaluation Board’s decision on whether I continue in the program or not. Days of checking my e-mail inbox, looking in our “snail” mailbox for a letter that is not there yet. And during this time of waiting, one’s mind can sometimes begin entertaining thoughts of self-doubt. “Should I have said this, instead of that?” “Was my performance the past year acceptable?” “Is this really the way God wants me to go?” “When am I going to hear from them?”

Amidst all this impatience and worry, my spiritual director shared something with me, to help me through this. It begins with something from the Book of the Prophet Isaiah:

“For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: By waiting and by calm you shall be saved, in quiet and in trust your strength lie. The Lord will give you the bread you need and the water for which you thirst. No longer will your Teacher hide himself, but with your own eyes you shall see your Teacher. While from behind, a voice shall sound in your ears: ‘This is the way; walk in it,’ when you would turn to the right or to the left.” (Isaiah 30: 15, 20-21)

If this way we walk, is truly the path God wishes us to follow, then a way through the obstacles will be found. We need to just to keep peace in our hearts, calm in our minds, and trust in the Lord.

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